Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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