We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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