I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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