So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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