i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
