is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
