carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
no, he came in my armpit
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
