They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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