At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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