He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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