I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
