Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
