I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
