her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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