mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
time to smoke my breakfast
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
