I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
