The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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