Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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