Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize