That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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