So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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