I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
