susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
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