Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just cut my nipple shaving
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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