I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
