it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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