Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
