you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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