M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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