So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
