This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
