Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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