Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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