tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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