I want to have your abortion
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
