"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
