Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
