the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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