can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
