Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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