reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
