somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize