i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize