How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
