i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
