is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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