i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
