I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
