hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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