then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Randomize
