He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so let's talk penis.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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