so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
