i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
