your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
