i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
