what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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