I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
