we're chasing vodka with high fives
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
